Why I Still Hate Valentine’s Day

See? It's always been silly!

Before I rant, I have to say something. DARNIT! I almost made it all of January posting every day! But yesterday was a hard day. By the time I realized I hadn’t posted yet, I was very, very tired. I guess the first day of being-awake-at-normal-human-times threw me off, too. That’s right, I am sleeping through the night again! Mostly thanks to the behavioral changes I made. Those cognitive-behavioral techniques really work, let me tell you. I’ll do another post later today, to make up for it. Sort of. And with that, here are my thoughts on Valentine’s Day. In January. Because I can’t escape it, even in January.

I hated Valentine’s Day when I was single. I hated Valentine’s Day when I was dating. You have to go on an awesome date tonight and fall in LOVE, but no pressure! ::eyeroll::

One would think that, now that I’m married, I would love Valetine’s Day. And excuse to go on a date with my husband! Gifts! Flowers! In reality, Nathan and I don’t need an excuse. We do just fine, thank you. And I don’t appreciate the pressure. On real holidays, when we’re really supposed to feel things like gratitude for family, for the things that we have, we do really awesome gifts. I don’t mean to brag, but we are really good at finding little things that go straight to the heart. We do not buy each other pink and red stuff just because it’s everywhere in stores.

I do love chocolate. I won’t pretend otherwise. But I’ll eat it any day I choose, thank you very much. The one thing I admit is that I love flowers, no matter what the occasion. They’re expensive, so if it’s just a few times a year, that’s lovely. Valentine’s Day can be one of those days. That does actually make me happy.

What has annoyed me lately is the nonsense that fills my inbox. For most of the year, I appreciate knowing when sales are happening at certain online stores. Let’s just say that I wear a size that’s difficult to find in the mall. As soon as Christmas is over, though, I am inundated with emails insisting that I need to spend money not on undergarments that function, but on expensive lingerie that is bright red just for the sake of Valentine’s Day. Maybe I’m just too poor to think this is cute. But, more than that, I simply dislike being told what is romantic. If there’s anything marriage (and real intimacy, in the emotional sense) has taught me, it’s that romance is rarely made of mass-produced, cliched undergarments. Forgive me if I sound old-fashioned. I’m as big a fan of lace as any girl, but I prefer to purchase such items unbidden by marketers’ made-up holidays.

In sum, I would prefer to go on a spontaneous date with my husband, or to celebrate a happy event of some kind. On these nights, our favorite restaurant is not over-crowded. Prices are not pumped up for a busy “holiday.” We can dress up or not, as we choose. Valentine’s Day is still a silly holiday and seems to rely on marketer’s insistence that you will feel guilty or inadequate or lonely or whatever if you do not participate. I don’t like being coerced and manipulated into faux romance. Do you?


  1. tabs said:

    Super late commenting here but found you in my search for other like-minded married women to see there were any. I despise Valentine’s day. It is being burnt into the brains from the youngest age now. My son is in 2nd grade, so this is his 3rd “mandatory card” holiday in school. I personally have a hard time finding cards from a boy to a boy that don’t say something like “Valentine you’re out of this world.” As my son has told me, boys don’t call boys valentine!.. so what’s a girl to do? Buy 6 boxes of valentine cards to pick the least ohhlala sounding ones. Is this intentional through manufacturers? Yep, I think so.

    It is ridiculous for so many reasons. Mostly what drives me nuts is the pressure intention of the vday mobs. Like we need feb 14 to be the day of all days to prove our love. For me personally, I want to feel loved and show love everyday. And overpriced roses and chocolate don’t really show it. Want to prove you love me – wash my dishes. Take the kid to school this week. Thats all I need.

    What trips me out is people thinking I must be bitter or cynical and single to hate the day. Like I am hiding behind a smokescreen due to prior bad experiences, but this is not the case. I have never had a Vday when I was forgotten so my distaste for the day is objective not based on being jades. But others still seem to think it. Like a chick can’t really feel that way.

    Either way, I will still buy the cards and accept the chocolates but I don’t think I will ever find it as the day of love.

    February 9, 2014
    • Anne-Marie said:

      I just dislike any day when gifts are expected. If it were optional and a nice surprise, the same card would feel great! And you’re right that requiring cards at school is really a setup for disappointment. It’s especially obnoxious for families who can’t or don’t want to budget so much money to spend on a random day in February.

      February 9, 2014
  2. Sheena said:

    I hate valentines day as well. I thought I was the only one. I’m not “poor” but I am money conscientious so I hate it when money gets spent on these stupid holidays. Christmas he buys $300 earrings and Valentines day he buys $50 in flowers. All the while I’m thinking of well those earrings could have been clothes for my kids or 2weeks of groceries. It drives me insane, then he has the nerve to call me ungrateful when I repeatedly tell him no spending money on stupid crap we don’t need.

    February 14, 2017

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