Hello, Again

I disappeared for awhile, because I’m not ok. I’m taking a higher dose of my anti-depressant (Effexor) again, after dropping to my pre-pregnancy dose in August. I finally admitted that I had gone too far when it was clear that I didn’t want to get out of bed, even after an awful migraine had passed. Yes, I do think there is a correlation between dropping my anti-depressant dose and hormonal migraines returning — there’s been some research about SSRIs helping women who experience severe PMS, so I’m guessing there’s something like that going on, here.

I don’t have the energy to write a full post, right now. I just have to keep writing, in this space, or it becomes even more difficult to start up again. I think that all I can do is wait for the new dose to kick in, but I’m between psychiatrists right now. I can’t get in to see the new one until October 9th. I’m not even sure how to get refills on my prescriptions. In the meantime, I’m finding joy in the little things.

Walt is growing so fast – he will be TWO next month! And he’s got a new word, or ten, every day. He tells little stories in nouns. “Walk! … Dada! … Iss!” means that he went on a walk with Dada and Lewis, our dog. Sometimes, he comes into the house after a trip to the Best Place Ever, aka the daycare at the gym, already saying “Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!” He’s just so excited about life. I soak it up and get lots of hugs.


  1. Anne said:

    I get it. I go into a panic that, because I haven’t been talking to friends because I’m depressed, they will then NOTICE that I haven’t been talking to them when I start again. I know it is silly and unfounded, but it doesn’t feel that way. I don’t want to fade into the background, but it feels easier and is sometimes all I have energy for.

    Watching someone/dog being happy (everything is the best thing ever!) and enjoying the hell out of just being alive is the best thing for me and it sounds like you have that going for you. And check with your pharmacist – mine will work with the doctor and advance me a few weeks on a prescription if I can’t get in. They know continuity is important! I accidentally knocked 12-weeks worth of pills into a wet sink and down the drain :(

    September 29, 2014
  2. Bobbi said:

    This summer was bad for me depression wise, we found part of my issue is med and b12 related. When is the last time you had a blood work up? Lots of love.

    October 12, 2014
    • Anne-Marie said:

      I had it done in the spring – April? – but my new psychiatrist might want more done, once she looks at all the lab results from then. I think my GP ran every test he could find, because I was losing weight rapidly, and he wanted to make sure there was no reason other than cutting out dairy and sugar and gluten.

      October 12, 2014

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