I have “met” with Jan The Amazing Nutritionist twice now, and after both Skype video chats, the flood of hope and relief I have felt has brought tears to my eyes. These emotions come after I begin to absorb the wealth of new information each conversation affords. While a visit to a doctor, even a good doctor, finds me struggling to get a word in, visiting with Jan means answering questions about every aspect of my life, not just about her area of specialization. I have lost count of how many darn times rushed to stop a doctor with a hand on the door handle, saying “Wait! I think this other piece matters!” only to see Doc turn around, sit down again, and reconsider a medication or other piece of advice. Even the neurologist I raved about had no idea which questions to ask. The visit went well because she listened to me, but I have had to learn to make them stop and listen to my speeches about how migraines are connected to anxiety which is connected to you name it. Jan asks me questions and then tells me why she’s asking. Best example? She asked a bunch of questions about Frova, my new migraine medication. I figured she just wanted to know what else I was putting in my body in addition to the foods I reported in my food diary entries.
I felt discouraged this morning, when I woke up with pain all through the right side of my upper body, from my shoulder blades to my eyeball and realized I was going to have to take Frova if I wanted to make it to babysit this afternoon. Then came the beta blocker. Then, I forgot to take my anti-anxiety meds until 11:30 am, and only remembered because I suddenly thought “Why in the hell do I feel so jumpy?” So I added a Xanax to the mix, to make sure that I’d get dressed and leave in time to make it to my 1:00 pm gig at the big house down the block. A baby just felt so far away as I swallowed that handful of blue, red and gray pills, all with warnings on their bottles against consumption during pregnancy.
But then, I read this in an email from Jan:
“Frova is a serotonin receptor agonist. It mimics serotonin production. This is the feel good, calming neurotransmitter. Tryptophan is the precursor to serotonin.
Have a look at the foods high in tryptophan.. shrimp is #1!!!!!
That link revealed this list of “events” that indicate a need for foods high in tryptophan:
Inability to concentrate
Weight gain or unexplained weight loss
Slow growth in children
Overeating and/or carbohydrate cravings
Poor dream recall
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, No, Yes, No, No, Yes?, No, No. That’s fully HALF of things I most definitely need help with. And FOOD can help! Because the chemicals in my brain are also in food… which makes total and complete sense. “Hey!” I thought, “I eat lots of shrimp! Shrimp is great!” (Nathan makes the best sauce you’ve ever tasted.) But we had just talked about how I’m not eating enough of any of the animal proteins in eggs, cheese, grass-fed beef, organic chicken and other obvious foods. I am eating more shrimp. Connection? Who cares! Let’s pile on the shrimp and see what happens!
Here’s what just makes me insane: not one of the many, many doctors I have asked about migraines and triptans has ever explained to me what they actually do. I have asked. They have been vague. Discouraged and already having taken twice as long as I’m “supposed” to take in the doctor’s office, I give up. Time and again, I give up trying to get doctors to explain to me what exactly these chemicals are doing. I have mutely accepted “help with the pain” and “help keep blood vessels open,” too exhausted to repeat “But HOW?!” I’m smart. I’m well-educated. I even understand a good amount of medical jargon. Hit me. I can take it. But they refuse. The notable exception is my neurologist, but I see him four times a year, and we usually have a whole lot else to talk about. I am now encouraged to email him to ask more questions, though, because he’s just such a nice guy and so good at explaining stuff.
My therapist is right (shocker!)–I feel less anxious when I learn more. The more information I have, the more empowered I feel and the less anxiety I experience. Right now, I am pretty excited about that huge bag of frozen shrimp Nathan found on sale. (I never get sick of it.) As Jan pointed out, preparing for pregnancy by eating more and more often. She tells me that I’m already eating lots of the foods she recommends during pregnancy. And, one of my favorite quotes from her is this one: “You need tons of this stuff when you’re building a human fetus, but you need them to rebuild your own cells, too!”
Maybe the Xanax has kicked in. Maybe I’m excited about my ability to do more every day to help me fill my brain with the happy chemicals the pills are currently helping me produce/use effectively. Information is power.