A Happy Father’s Day

My husband Nathan made an adorable request the other day. (I’m sorry if this embarrasses you, dear, but you are married to a blogger and… I want to brag about you.) He asked that our family never buy him a Father’s Day gift. I asked if handmade gifts were acceptable, or if he simply did not wish to receive any gifts for Father’s Day, ever (a request I had no intention of granting). He enthusiastically assured me that handmade gifts and cards were exactly the kind of thing he would like. I got the impression that he’d rather we ignore the “holiday” entirely than get him a tie.

I cannot give him anything this year, even though I would like to mark the day with something like the beautiful brunch he took me to on Mother’s Day, back when we were getting paychecks. I do think that Mother’s Day was a bigger deal for me than Father’s Day will be for him, given that I’m the one with round ligament pain, breasts that have doubled in size and a pain in my right hip that just never seems to go away. I have a feeling that this whole thing is less real for the parent who isn’t getting kicked from the inside by our tiny progeny.

But nothing could express the gratitude I feel when I think of Nathan as a father. No matter how scared I might feel at times by the prospect of parenting, I feel better as soon as I picture Nathan helping raise our child. I have chosen a partner in this endeavor who can look into the soft brown eyes of our dog, and respond to the animal’s mood. The empathy with which I want to raise our child comes naturally to Nathan. He will easily learn to “read” our baby’s cries. He will have no trouble with gentle discipline. When paychecks start to come in again, you can be sure to find me browsing on gearhungry.com for my man, but for now frugality prevails.

Sometimes, I think of this family we have made together, and I feel like I must be dreaming. How did a girl who came from such a dysfunctional family, when every affectionate moment between my parents seemed to have a corresponding cruel insult, grow up to find a man who is just so kind and so patient? I have no fears that the darker aspects of my childhood will repeat themselves, because even when I doubt myself, I never doubt Nathan.

I have chosen the best possible parent, husband and human being to share my life with. How could I possibly find a gift to match what he has given me?

Happy Father’s Day, Nathan. You are already a wonderful father. I am forever grateful that I have the privilege to be your wife and the mother-to-be of your child. Thank you.


  1. Misty (@chickadeedoula) said:

    After having my first daughter, I went through a “mourning” phase, where I had to do a lot of healing from some of the issues I dealt with as a baby/child (clearly, I don’t remember what happened as a baby, but I know from things that my mom/dad have told me, I am definitely parenting in a different way – they come from an older generation of people who believed that babies should be seen and not heard). It was like I had to finally process everything while also raising my own newborn. My hubby was a rock through all of this, and I don’t think he’ll ever know how much he held things together for me. I think of those hard times every Father’s Day :)

    June 18, 2012
    • Anne-Marie said:

      It’s pretty amazing how fast and hard stuff from the past can come up and hit you, isn’t it? It’s so nice to have backup when that happens. I honestly don’t remember how I functioned at all without him. I’m glad to know that I can, but it’s ever so nice that I don’t have to!

      June 19, 2012

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