Did I Just Ask For Some of Her Breast Milk? Yes, Yes I Did.

On the same day I learned that I won’t be able to safely breast feed while taking benzodiazepines, I also learned that a dear friend is just eight-weeks pregnant with her second child. After thoroughly researching breast milk sharing and thinking about it for a couple days, I decided to ask her. Ok, I asked her via email. But I wanted to give her time to think about. She just found out that she’s having a second kid and she’s exhausted, for goodness sakes. She’s also chasing after a toddler all day long.

I don’t know what it’s like to breast feed. I don’t know what it would mean, really, to try and produce enough milk for someone else’s baby. I don’t know what it feels like to express milk. I do know that what I am asking goes above and beyond the normal bounds of friendship. I am keeping my expectations very low and asking the question early in order to put as little strain as possible on the friendship.

What if she says no? Well, then she says no. I don’t need an explanation.

What if she says yes? Then we will prepare, when the time comes, for the possibility that milk sharing will work out. A deep freeze will keep the milk safely for 6-12 months, so we’d be able to give age-appropriate milk to our baby, even though she’s already pregnant and I’m not. But I understand that she can change her mind at any moment and that even if she very much wants to share her precious breast milk, it might not be possible.

What are your thoughts? What would you do if your friend asked a question like this?

 

UPDATE:

As I was publishing this, I heard back from my friend. Needless to say, I have never felt so blessed in my life.

[quote]i don’t even need to read the whole email, yes i would be happy to donate milk to your little one!  i’m guessing my milk supply will be fine, it was last time and i tend to take pretty good care of myself while nursing so i feel safe/confident in offering it to you.  we can figure out the logistics when the time comes.  in the meantime, don’t worry about it, i’ll do my part to help out![/quote]

One Comment

  1. […] my potential child with my breastmilk is too much anxiety for me to bear. They understand why I am asking for donor milk, particularly from a friend whose baby girl is due in June who happens to be the healthiest person […]

    March 16, 2012
    Reply

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