My gorgeous men are away this weekend, celebrating Easter with extended family. I love Easter. I have actually been planning my son’s outfit for months. I’m not with them, though, because my health pretty much demanded that I stay home. There are two things happening that require me choosing self care over everything else, right now: my weight is still dropping, and a cold is threatening to become a sinus infection. Obviously, the first is the greater of these two problems, but the sinus headaches are really what made the decision for me. Now that I’ve been on my own all day, though, I don’t know why I thought I could get enough calories in me away from home, on a holiday where I wouldn’t be eating most of what’s on offer. Since I cut out sugar, gluten, dairy and soy, I have had exactly one migraine. Before this change, I had a hormonal migraine for five days. Two cycles of hormonal changes later, and one headache? I’m sticking with what works. My relatives are lovely, accommodating and so willing to work with me. The problem is that I have enough trouble listening to my body’s signals about food when I’m not busy and away from home. My anxiety is an appetite suppressant. I need to eat every three hours. I need to eat more protein. This was not going to work, unless I stayed at home, this weekend. I’m also just putting this out there: it helps to be alone, at one’s own kitchen sink, when trying to see if swallowing a tablespoon of coconut oil, straight up, is going to work. (I got it down. Not happening again.) I got to spend today, free from any distraction, figuring out what I can/will/want to eat that still fits within my dietary restrictions and also has a high calorie count. My gorgeous husband made sure I was stocked with everything I needed to work this out for myself, before he left. I also slept, and let essential oils fix my sinus pain. (I have empty capsules to put oils in, so I can swallow them without irritation, and this *worked* – 3 drops oregano, 3 drops doTerra On Guard, 2 drops frankincense. Felt better in about fifteen minutes. Twice a day. No sinus pressure. BOOM!) And, obviously, sleeping. The downside is that I missed out on this (photo credit to my lovely mother-in-law, aka Gram): But this growing boy needs his mama to keep up with him (and keep making that mama’s milk he loves so much–losing weight will hurt even a seemingly endless supply like mine!) and not disappear. Plus, now he can eat all the candy his Gram can sneak into him without me knowing about it or wishing so desperately that I could eat some! Seriously, people, I LOVE Reese’s peanut butter eggs. I love Easter candy. I love dressing up. I love the optimistic church services about resurrection. And there will be many years when I will enjoy all those things. This year, it’s sleep, food, pajamas, and healing.